Beware of fonts
This could happen to you, too!
posted by Mary Celeste @ 9:54 pm
0 comments
Friday, January 27, 2006
Word of the Day - Tomato
Enjoy the tomato that got left behind in time...
posted by Mary Celeste @ 2:21 am
0 comments
Highlander
So I just watched Highlander with Marc and Tim. Oh my god it's horrid.
I know it's called a classic, but holy smoly.
First of all, I did like the way they doubled the past and the present, it was a nice way to present the story. A bit confusing at first, but it did mesh together eventually.
But damn man. The music was the first put-off, since I absolutely hate 80's rock. But I can deal with it. So we'll brush off the music. The setting, for the present, was also quite random. Why New York? The man lived in Scotland, the other dude came from Russia, so why are they both (in fact, all of them end up there) in New York? America's a rather big place, hell, the world is a rather big place. Why not settle out in Sri Lanka or something? Plus he has a giant house of sorts, all lavish and clean, in the middle of New York. Yet he doesn't appear to be someone who can actually amass that sort of wealth, since he's seen in the film only wandering around giving people cold stares and being, in general, belligerent. Finally, if they're immortal, what sets the age they stay at? How come we don't see highlanders that look eight? How about 80? Why 30ish?
Leaving aside those plot holes, more plot issues. What the hell is with the great holy light? What the hell happened to cause The Gathering? What the hell is up with the totally incompetent police force? What the hell is up with the damn people, in general? The setting was horrible, the peoples' responses to these things was horrible, it just wasn't very convincing. "But we're talking about immortal people!" might be your response, but give me a break, I've read/seen/watched plenty of convincing stories about present-day vampires. Don't pull the "it can't be real!" string on this one.
Other issues. It was predictable and very, very typical. Call me picky as hell, but there's always The Pause before something big happens. Camera was too easy to read. There's a scene where he stabs himself to prove his immortality, and a sex scene immediately follows. Where'd that one come from? There's a fight scene in the movie where, right before the death blow is to occur, there's a long pause and a stare before one of them makes a suicidal lunge. What? You sit around twiddling your thumb for centuries and you can't even tolerate a five minute battle? Not to mention the battles weren't convincing at all. They looked like clumsy fools swinging wildly, filled with holes all over. Come. On. I guess this is the excuse for why these idiots die so quickly in war or something, but you got centuries to hone your skills. You don't win swordfights by being clumsy as shit, you're supposed to have a flow to the exchange. It should look like a dance, of sorts. Ever heard of Systema? Martial arts based solely on, basically, dance motions. These guys looked like muscle-bound freaks that just swung at the opponent as strong as possible and then struggled as they missed. One of the villains is supposed to be ridiculously powerful and vile. They got the latter on, but the former definitely didn't seem true. You seem him fight three times, I believe, and in none of the scenes does he ever look like he's winning. Of course, he keeps winning, but it was because the guy he was fighting would always pull some dumbass maneuver that gets him killed. Also, if you're immortal, why the fuck are you stepping back all the time? The easiest way to win in hand-to-hand combat is to eat a hit and strike back at a better location. Fling out your goddamn leg, kick the sword, get it lodged in your leg and then behead them or something!
Other issues. They pulled the whole Masamune shit again, which gets really tiresome. How many different retellings and versions of Masamune (and Murasame, though we got spared that one in the movie) do we need to see before these dumbfuck writers decide to use their own idea? And how come a take-apart-and-put-it-back-together sword holds up at all? Dude, even purely-forged blades get destroyed, some snap-together sword should be totally whooped.
Back to the fighting thing, it's really annoying to watch these five minute swordfights. I can understand five minutes+ in a fight, but most of that tends to be because they're just feeling each other out. Half of the swings in the movie were not going to hit anyways. They just looked cool. Wasted swings, wasted time, wasted life. Most fights are settled in an instant. Ask any kendo/fencer if you don't believe me. And there is no freakin' dramatic pause before that instant.
Oh yeah, and the women. Oh my lord. Most of them were ugly (and if I'm saying this, you hafta believe it) and they didn't know when the fuck to shut up. Dude man, if you're going to go chasing down a suspected murderer, you better not be surprised if you get attacked. And if you're going to hang out with people that you know are in the midst of a goddamn epic battle, then stop screaming like shit if you get kidnapped. Who didn't see that one coming? Seriously man. And if a seven foot muscle-bound freak with a sword ambushes you and you close the door on him, guess what?
Wooden doors aren't impregnable!
So you get to hear like 10 minutes of this gawdawful screeching. I'm surprised my ears aren't shot yet.
I know it's called a classic, but holy smoly.
First of all, I did like the way they doubled the past and the present, it was a nice way to present the story. A bit confusing at first, but it did mesh together eventually.
But damn man. The music was the first put-off, since I absolutely hate 80's rock. But I can deal with it. So we'll brush off the music. The setting, for the present, was also quite random. Why New York? The man lived in Scotland, the other dude came from Russia, so why are they both (in fact, all of them end up there) in New York? America's a rather big place, hell, the world is a rather big place. Why not settle out in Sri Lanka or something? Plus he has a giant house of sorts, all lavish and clean, in the middle of New York. Yet he doesn't appear to be someone who can actually amass that sort of wealth, since he's seen in the film only wandering around giving people cold stares and being, in general, belligerent. Finally, if they're immortal, what sets the age they stay at? How come we don't see highlanders that look eight? How about 80? Why 30ish?
Leaving aside those plot holes, more plot issues. What the hell is with the great holy light? What the hell happened to cause The Gathering? What the hell is up with the totally incompetent police force? What the hell is up with the damn people, in general? The setting was horrible, the peoples' responses to these things was horrible, it just wasn't very convincing. "But we're talking about immortal people!" might be your response, but give me a break, I've read/seen/watched plenty of convincing stories about present-day vampires. Don't pull the "it can't be real!" string on this one.
Other issues. It was predictable and very, very typical. Call me picky as hell, but there's always The Pause before something big happens. Camera was too easy to read. There's a scene where he stabs himself to prove his immortality, and a sex scene immediately follows. Where'd that one come from? There's a fight scene in the movie where, right before the death blow is to occur, there's a long pause and a stare before one of them makes a suicidal lunge. What? You sit around twiddling your thumb for centuries and you can't even tolerate a five minute battle? Not to mention the battles weren't convincing at all. They looked like clumsy fools swinging wildly, filled with holes all over. Come. On. I guess this is the excuse for why these idiots die so quickly in war or something, but you got centuries to hone your skills. You don't win swordfights by being clumsy as shit, you're supposed to have a flow to the exchange. It should look like a dance, of sorts. Ever heard of Systema? Martial arts based solely on, basically, dance motions. These guys looked like muscle-bound freaks that just swung at the opponent as strong as possible and then struggled as they missed. One of the villains is supposed to be ridiculously powerful and vile. They got the latter on, but the former definitely didn't seem true. You seem him fight three times, I believe, and in none of the scenes does he ever look like he's winning. Of course, he keeps winning, but it was because the guy he was fighting would always pull some dumbass maneuver that gets him killed. Also, if you're immortal, why the fuck are you stepping back all the time? The easiest way to win in hand-to-hand combat is to eat a hit and strike back at a better location. Fling out your goddamn leg, kick the sword, get it lodged in your leg and then behead them or something!
Other issues. They pulled the whole Masamune shit again, which gets really tiresome. How many different retellings and versions of Masamune (and Murasame, though we got spared that one in the movie) do we need to see before these dumbfuck writers decide to use their own idea? And how come a take-apart-and-put-it-back-together sword holds up at all? Dude, even purely-forged blades get destroyed, some snap-together sword should be totally whooped.
Back to the fighting thing, it's really annoying to watch these five minute swordfights. I can understand five minutes+ in a fight, but most of that tends to be because they're just feeling each other out. Half of the swings in the movie were not going to hit anyways. They just looked cool. Wasted swings, wasted time, wasted life. Most fights are settled in an instant. Ask any kendo/fencer if you don't believe me. And there is no freakin' dramatic pause before that instant.
Oh yeah, and the women. Oh my lord. Most of them were ugly (and if I'm saying this, you hafta believe it) and they didn't know when the fuck to shut up. Dude man, if you're going to go chasing down a suspected murderer, you better not be surprised if you get attacked. And if you're going to hang out with people that you know are in the midst of a goddamn epic battle, then stop screaming like shit if you get kidnapped. Who didn't see that one coming? Seriously man. And if a seven foot muscle-bound freak with a sword ambushes you and you close the door on him, guess what?
Wooden doors aren't impregnable!
So you get to hear like 10 minutes of this gawdawful screeching. I'm surprised my ears aren't shot yet.
posted by Mary Celeste @ 12:08 am
0 comments
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Cyril the Magician
Holy shit the man is good. I'm confused...
Has a woman choose and mark a card from a deck, then sprays the deck at a window. The chosen card sticks to the _other_ side of the window. This window, by the way, is the window for an underwater aquarium tour ship. Then he pulls it back out, water spraying through the napkin. It's a dripping wet card.
Has a woman choose a card and mark it from a deck, then scatter the cards above water inside a tiny ring. Bungy jumps from 52m up with a sword and impales only the chosen card.
How about making cup ramen with a cup ramen cup, no water and no heater?
Or getting free burgers from an advertisement sign board.
Has a woman choose and mark a card from a deck, then sprays the deck at a window. The chosen card sticks to the _other_ side of the window. This window, by the way, is the window for an underwater aquarium tour ship. Then he pulls it back out, water spraying through the napkin. It's a dripping wet card.
Has a woman choose a card and mark it from a deck, then scatter the cards above water inside a tiny ring. Bungy jumps from 52m up with a sword and impales only the chosen card.
How about making cup ramen with a cup ramen cup, no water and no heater?
Or getting free burgers from an advertisement sign board.
posted by Mary Celeste @ 6:46 pm
0 comments
Monday, January 23, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
The word that turned foul
Democracy.
You hear it all over the place in political news. But you walk up to your average person and ask them to explain democracy and you're more likely to get a "oh yeah, freedom, right?" than an actual detail explanation of what exactly democracy is. The voice of the people.
It's hypocritical when you look at all the "spread democracy" slogan America uses. But that's beating a dead horse... the how can it be democracy if you're forcing it onto them? statement.
Forgetting the meaning of democracy and how it's become an empty word, it's actually fairly interesting to take a look at how it's used. A similar word of magical meanings is terrorism. Both of these words have humoungous implications, but it's become such a commonly-used term that it's lost most of its meaning. "Oh my gawd, some murderer killed ___! It must be an act of terrorism, damn terrorists!" or something like that. Exaggeration abound.
The two have become staple words in the speech of politicians nowadays. Protect democracy! Defeat terrorism! It's a repeat of the Cold War, in a sense, but no one really cares, because history is always ignored when it matters most. It's never a good public relations move to remember the past failures of an action when you're about to embark on it. Public relations. That's what those two words are basically about. Magical politician words that have basically become the "vote for me, I use these two words, my opposition doesn't! so he doesn't care!" wave of the era. I mean, if you don't support the American drive to spread and uphold democracy (suddenly synonymous with freedom, even though plenty of Americans would argue that it's not really) and put down terrorism (suddenly synonymous with anti-American actions, since the bombing on Madrid obviously wasn't terrorism, just some idiotic people blowing shit up), then you're obviously a communist. Okay, not really a communist, but an anti-American pre-terrorist bastard who needs to be shot Minority style before you go ramming airplanes into key economic buildings. After all, if economic buildings keep getting knocked down, how're people going to get their McWorldDomination Hamburgers?
I mean, America's generally failed to uphold democracy in their own country, so it's really hard to argue that it's in the hands of America to spread it worldwide. Heaven knows in 200 years everyone could be laughing at America and its "democracy" for its blinded actions that led to its downfall. After all, what America really is trying to spread is capitalism... or more specifically, mercantilism, the very same thing that caused colonists to revolt against England in the first place. Don't believe it? I think sucking Iraq dry of oil for very little money counts as mercantilism. We'll stop short of counting it as invasion in general because it hasn't quite crossed the line of America directly controlling the people of Iraq and declaring it a State. Wouldn't surprise me if that happened in 15 years or so after the Iraqi insurgents "mysterious disappear" or something.
So basically democracy has evolved into the definition, "system of government where said country feeds the American economy for little-to-no gain and/or little-to-no real change in their lifestyles other than name and ownership." And politicans keep using it. And people keep biting it, going, "you don't support democracy? You need to be shot."
And they're supposed to be one of the most educated in the world...
You hear it all over the place in political news. But you walk up to your average person and ask them to explain democracy and you're more likely to get a "oh yeah, freedom, right?" than an actual detail explanation of what exactly democracy is. The voice of the people.
It's hypocritical when you look at all the "spread democracy" slogan America uses. But that's beating a dead horse... the how can it be democracy if you're forcing it onto them? statement.
Forgetting the meaning of democracy and how it's become an empty word, it's actually fairly interesting to take a look at how it's used. A similar word of magical meanings is terrorism. Both of these words have humoungous implications, but it's become such a commonly-used term that it's lost most of its meaning. "Oh my gawd, some murderer killed ___! It must be an act of terrorism, damn terrorists!" or something like that. Exaggeration abound.
The two have become staple words in the speech of politicians nowadays. Protect democracy! Defeat terrorism! It's a repeat of the Cold War, in a sense, but no one really cares, because history is always ignored when it matters most. It's never a good public relations move to remember the past failures of an action when you're about to embark on it. Public relations. That's what those two words are basically about. Magical politician words that have basically become the "vote for me, I use these two words, my opposition doesn't! so he doesn't care!" wave of the era. I mean, if you don't support the American drive to spread and uphold democracy (suddenly synonymous with freedom, even though plenty of Americans would argue that it's not really) and put down terrorism (suddenly synonymous with anti-American actions, since the bombing on Madrid obviously wasn't terrorism, just some idiotic people blowing shit up), then you're obviously a communist. Okay, not really a communist, but an anti-American pre-terrorist bastard who needs to be shot Minority style before you go ramming airplanes into key economic buildings. After all, if economic buildings keep getting knocked down, how're people going to get their McWorldDomination Hamburgers?
I mean, America's generally failed to uphold democracy in their own country, so it's really hard to argue that it's in the hands of America to spread it worldwide. Heaven knows in 200 years everyone could be laughing at America and its "democracy" for its blinded actions that led to its downfall. After all, what America really is trying to spread is capitalism... or more specifically, mercantilism, the very same thing that caused colonists to revolt against England in the first place. Don't believe it? I think sucking Iraq dry of oil for very little money counts as mercantilism. We'll stop short of counting it as invasion in general because it hasn't quite crossed the line of America directly controlling the people of Iraq and declaring it a State. Wouldn't surprise me if that happened in 15 years or so after the Iraqi insurgents "mysterious disappear" or something.
So basically democracy has evolved into the definition, "system of government where said country feeds the American economy for little-to-no gain and/or little-to-no real change in their lifestyles other than name and ownership." And politicans keep using it. And people keep biting it, going, "you don't support democracy? You need to be shot."
And they're supposed to be one of the most educated in the world...
posted by Mary Celeste @ 11:38 pm
0 comments
